My Best Man Speech for Colin Myles


Otherwise Colin can be found surfing his way through life both at work on the web and also on occasion down the pub.

On one occasion Colin, after a couple of beers which we will come to later, decided to show off his talent for surfing. It happened to be in front of not only the Schlumberger Karting Club but also all the other punters in the pub - very embarrassing!

We all know about Colin's love of food. Just a couple of years ago Colin and Julie were at the car boot sale in Cambridge selling a few posters. 

Julie had a cheese and onion pasty that Colin decided he would like to get hold of. In his struggle Colin pushed Julie into the boot of his Vauxhall Nova, jumped on top of her and managed to put his back out before he even got anywhere near the pasty.

Colin hurt himself so badly that he was signed off work by the doctor and had to own up at work what he had been up to.

This wasn't the first time Colin hurt his back though - on one occasion at work he thought he would hide in a big cardboard box and jump out on a student to frighten them. He's always playing practical jokes. 

In the end though the joke backfired when Colin lost his balance and toppled over, jarring his back in the process.

This wasn't his only car boot sale exploit though. 

We all know how much Julie trusts, loves and dotes on Colin and we all know how gullible she can be at times. 

On this occasion Colin and Julie were once again moonlighting selling posters at the car boot sale. They had filled the Supa Nova to the brim or so Julie thought.

Colin persuaded Julie that the only place they could put the bread bin into which the earnings would be put, was for Julie to wear it on her head. Julie promptly obliged. Not only was it bad enough for Jules to wear the bread bin for the 8 mile ride into town but Colin decided he must fill up with petrol - not that he needed it having a half full tank already.

Here we see Colin experiencing the famous Colin's Two Pint Feeling. After just two pints Colin can be seen looking green, swallowing hard, glasses skew, trying not to be ill.

Colin is always trying to persuade us he is a hardened drinker - he did manage very well on his stag party, until Sunday that is when he could be seen making himself feel better in the basin, shower, mini bus, over Dan's Tee Shirt, on a wall ..... 

He did however manage to compose himself for the flight he and I had to take that evening to Paris for work. It's the most frightened I have been of flying.

Colin's 2 pint feeling almost resurfaced on his 21st birthday. We had all been to our local pub, The Navigator in Little Shelford, for some excellent food with Joan and Dave the Landlady and Landlord at the time. Colin had had his first rare steak - an absolutely cracking meal. 

However Colin had one too many drinks, as has happened on several occasions, and a final Tequila slammer just tipped him over the edge. Colin's steak ended the evening right under the good pub food sign.

On the hen night Julie was asked to sum up Colin in just a few short words. After a few moments consideration she came up with:

'Colin is the only man I know who can fart, burp and snore all at the same time.'

For now that's it as far as my speech goes - I'll post more when I have time. There is however the article from the Cambridge Evening News:


The article from the Cambridge Evening News:


Colin started traveling at an early age of 7 when he left home for the first time. Here we see Colin with his satchel under his arm packed with all the essentials in life or so he thought. Colin packed 50 pence, a toothbrush and his pyjamas - everything a great explorer needs. Off he set leaving behind the rest of the family Myles. 

No doubt he also packed a large lunch box as depicted under his right arm! We all know how he likes his food.

The story ends with Colin being found in tears at the end of his drive just a short while later. When asked why he was crying by his mum he had to explain that it was impossible to run away from home when he wasn't allowed to cross the road.